Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
