An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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