Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
