After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
