just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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