Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.