We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND