So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My butt remains clenched, sir.