I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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