And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
