Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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