we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
