stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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