my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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