i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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