he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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