She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
