In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
