that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
