you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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