Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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