The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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