why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize