I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Send help, water and tortillas.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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