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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
