So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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