then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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