I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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