she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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