You work out of a Hotel?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
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At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
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Technically my penis started a fight tonight
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick