Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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