yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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