OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
