hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
