New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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