im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
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I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
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Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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