Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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