I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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