Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
