After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
