opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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