He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
