The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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