i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
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I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
did i just pee glitter
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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