Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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