Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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