So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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