I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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