I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
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