You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
