the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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