Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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