You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
