Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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