Nicole vs. Life
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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