3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
