Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
A+ Viking dick
Randomize