At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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