you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
