I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
