Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
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I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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