When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
