what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
