i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You ruined the universe
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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