id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
